starts rhythmic clapping
HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY, HO-DEE-HOTEN-DAY-O! HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY…
FATTENING UP OUR TAAAAPE WOOOOORMS!
Yeah, kinda hard to ignore those themes in a game whose antagonist is a deliberate gender-swap of Ayn Rand.
Have you seen what’s down there? It’s terrifying.
You don’t have to tell me. Deep down at the bottom of the ocean? The whole place is crawling with…capitalists.
Yeah, yeah. I know. Andrew Ryan gave us all the big, shiny speech, “sweat of your brow” and all that, but what’s he got down there now? Just a buncha junkies and opportunists running guns and peeling off all of that pretty art deco veneer.
Thanks but no thanks, Ryan.
glances into mirror
Oh.
Right.
…Shit.
The microwave at the Future Gadgets Lab is about to experience one hell of an upgrade.
I like to think that the glasses just materialize whenever a human fully achieves therapist mode.
This feels like a Mitch Hedberg joke.
I know this is a grumpy old man take, but I’ll never get over the fact that they decided to call these dastardly things “hoverboards.”
Blasphemy, says eight year-old me, having just watched Back to the Future: Part II and now obsessed with someday obtaining a floating skateboard.
Furry Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: “Just vibe.”
Oh. Oh, man. I’m not the only one…
(#4)
When you turn 12 and promptly WAKE UP.
WELL, I DON’T NEED SAFETY GLOVES, BECAUSE I’M HOMER SIMP–
Ah, Coop. Operating entirely on vibes and damn fine coffee.
Keep throwing Tibetan rocks at glass bottles, you absolute maniac.