Gender affirmation only counts to them if it defies the sex or gender binary. They’re completely fine with people modifying their bodies to affirm their masculinity or femininity so long as they were assigned male or female at birth accordingly.

Trans people pursuing medical transition are such a small percentage of the population that cis people getting hormone therapy or affirming surgeries will always dwarf the number of trans people who are. Throw in all of the ways we affirm the gender of cis people, through language and fashion and culture and so on, and it’s evident what their gripe is. It’s never been about children receiving gender affirmation, merely their conviction that transgender people do not exist or are immoral and evil and shouldn’t exist. There’s a reason modern transphobia is highly intertwined with fascism. To believe that an entire group of people, based solely on their gender, is immoral and evil is only possible through a lense of dehumanization and conspiracy. Something they are especially good at. We are too few in number and too disparate to counteract the efforts of fascists, who by themselves outnumber us in every way.

You’ll note I discussed the context subtext and use of the word in my comments. 🙃 that’s what this whole thing has been about… sigh

Can you also stop trying to insinuate that I’m not an anglophone person? It’s fucking weird

I’m reacting to the comment made by the commenter. Those are not semantically the same statement, though. They literally aren’t. It expresses an expectation for others’ bodies to be a certain way and a dissappointment when they aren’t. The word dissapponted is not interchangeable with preference. “I dislike nipple piercings” is not the same thing as “I am disappointed in women who get them.” You intuitively know this too because someone being angry with you implies a direct response to something you’ve done. Someone being disappointed in you implies they had an expectation for you that you failed to meet. It also takes literally nothing from the speaker to clarify this, which the commenter did not.

I have no feelings whatsoever on the subject of whether the commenter likes nipple piercings or not. I do not have nipple piercings and am entirely uninterested in what the commenter thinks about them. I object to men using language that enforces ownership over women’s bodies. As I said in my prior comment, this is an everyday occurrence for us. This happens to us all the time. My body is not your business, and the bodies of random women are not the business of the commenter.

As I said before, how would he materially know how many women have nipple piercings? It’s possible to have them and them not be visible in public. If his gripe was with how many women he’s hooked up with that have them, he would’ve said that not that he’s disappointed in women who get them.

This entire thing stemmed from a simple call out on something the commenter said. A way that his language implied that women’s bodies should be a certain way. It was never a big deal until several men immediately mischaracterized what I said and tried to imply that I am stupid, that I dont know what I’m talking about, that I’m weird, that I don’t speak English lol. One commenter rambled on about his dick. I would’ve left the comment and moved on, that was always my intent. It was the visceral response at the mere suggestion that something he said may have had a misogynistic implication that prolonged this conversation into what it became.

It’s not just based on the dictionary it’s literally what the word fucking means. Jesus christ. Re-read my comments. I have absolutely no desire to continue this. I’ve made my fucking point. Leave me alone.

No, I’m not. If you don’t know what the word disappointed means, you should look it up.

One minute, you’re rambling about your engorged member, and the next you’re demonstrating again that you still don’t understand what I was saying. Fuck off.

That would be true, but for one, the percentage of women with nipple piercings is statistically insignificant. For two, you don’t actually have any measurable way of telling with certainty how popular those piercings are. So it’s not really as comparable to hair color, which you can ascertain at a glance. And even then, I would expect some kind of clarification that this has been obtrusive or obstructive to the speaker. “I’ve been disappointed so many times to find out that my date had their nipples pierced” or something to that effect. Just saying “some women are doing this aesthetic thing to their bodies, and it disappoints me” is not really saying the same thing.

There may be a fundamental disagreement here over whether or not it is valid to feel a sense of ownership over other people’s appearances. “Oh no, that guy would’ve been so cute if he hadn’t grown out a mullet I wish he hadn’t” would be a strange thing to think, let alone verbalize, about a stranger. It implies that by virtue of that man changing some aspect of appearance the speaker has lost something tangible. It might give the speaker pause in that situation to realize that their language kinda makes it seem like they’re entitled to “mullet-less” men. We also have to consider the emphasis that puts on men who do have mullets. The speaker in this case is collectively denigrating all of them for failing to meet their expectation of non-mullet hairstyles, despite those men not knowing the speaker and having nothing to do with them.

Cool. You’re so brave.

Yes, here I am, not making any arguments about his preferences. 🙄

I’m not upset with the concept of disappointment. I’m calling out the fact that saying he’s disappointed with women for having piercings is a statement about how women’s bodies should be. It’s saying that women are beholden to an expectation of how their bodies should be, and that when they have nipple piercings they are failing to meet his expectations of them.

You’re just petulantly refusing to actually respond to what I have said at this point. I don’t care about his preferences.

Youre mischaracterizing what I said as though I made some comment about the commenter having preferences. Which is not and never was what I said.

If you’re going to call out something I said and the implication in it, at least tell me what I said that you’re calling out and what the implication was in what I said.

It is about women’s bodies though, a piercing is a form of body modification.

And yeah, in a world where women’s bodies and attire weren’t policed to an extreme degree it might be the same. But it isn’t. It’s not that there’s some linguistic difference but rather that policing women’s bodies happens in millions of unique ways every day. It does happen in some ways to men too, body weight, height, body fat and hygiene those kinda things. Women are policed for those things too, in addition to a million other factors. And we suffer social consequences for those things in ways men do not. We suffer even if we do meet those expectations, because ownership over our bodies is still being taken.

It would still illicit a similar response of confusion from me if someone said they were “dissappointed so many men were getting nipple piercings”. What is the causal relationship between the speaker and the men in question? Why does the speaker feel entitled to those men’s bodies? It would still be weird and wrong to say that. I hear people making claims about women’s bodies literally every day though, and pretty uncommonly about men’s in the same way.

Lol yeah okay have fun dude you’re still mischaracterizing what I said. I never said anything about him having preferences. 🙄

He didn’t say someone in particular. He said he was “disappointed so many girls” are getting those piercings. That doesn’t imply specific women, it implies women in general.

It’s fine for him not to like them, I’m calling out his use of language and how it implies that all women are beholden to some expectation he has for them.

The rest of your comment is genuinely bizarre and I have no idea what you’re even talking about. Read through the comment tree again. I never said anything about who the commenter was. Just calling out something he said and the implication inherent in it.

That’s not what I said. I questioned why he said he is disappointed with what random women are doing with their bodies. I can paste the definition of the word here if you don’t know what it means.

No I’m saying that using that term implies an expectation for those women that they are failing to meet. I am asking why he has an expectation for random women to not get those piercings. Re-read my comment omg 🙄

You also accused me of not knowing how to speak English while seemingly not understanding what the word dissappointed means.

Yeah I’m toxic, you’re the one who flipped out at me for asking the commenter a question 😂 I’ll admit it was aggro but I don’t know you and was not trying to make a statement about your personal life that I have no knowledge of. I was showing the way that word functions and how it differs from other direct feelings in response to something. Disappointment is a specific emotion with a specific meaning.

He didn’t say that if someone he dated had nipple piercings he’d be dissappointed, he said he was “disappointed so many girls” are choosing to get them. Don’t try and reframe what he said. You don’t have to come up with elaborate allegories we can talk about what he said right there.

disappointed dɪsəˈpɔɪntɪd

adjective

1. sad or displeased because someone or something has failed to fulfil one’s hopes or expectations.
2. (of hopes or expectations) prevented from being realized.

Here saved you a Google search lmao 😂

He used the word dissappontment holy shit do you not know what the word means??

He used that word I’m no fucking misinterpreting him lmao

I never said people shouldn’t have opinions on fashion choices omfg I was literally calling out his framing of that opinion 😂 yall are tripping omg haha