As weird as it is to say this, that’s kind of wholesome. I don’t know what he’s in jail for, or how long he’ll be there. But I do know you made a friend for life if you chose to upkeep the relationship.

I don’t have anybody like that in my life. He’s in jail, and he gets a frequent visitor who cares about him.

Meanwhile, my apartment hasn’t had a visitor since a few months after I moved in, and “friends” wanted to come see the place. Which was 2 years ago.

Step 1) Don’t let kids on the internet.

There is no step 2. The internet is not a place for kids. It’s barely a place for teens, but hopefully you’ve taught teenagers how to behave online by the time they’re 15.

Jim Cornette is a pro-wrestling personality who’s known for his fast loud mouth on-air.

He’s also known as being hard to get along with by most people.

So in the 1980s, when he was first becoming nationally well known, he would have bickering arguements with his coworkers. He made a list of people he didn’t like.

Then in the 1990s, he worked with a guy named Vince Russo, who he still to this day HAAAAAATES. He’s quoted as saying “Spite is a hell of a motivator, and it’s the reason I’m going to live one day longer than Vince Russo. Just so I can piss on his grave.”

So after dealing with Vince Russo, the WWF hired someone he worked with years earlier, and found he wasn’t as mad at him as he once was.

He was quoted as saying “You used to be much higher on my shitlist, but you’ve moved down a few spots simply by not doing anything differently!”

I’ve always taken that last quote to be an interesting take on perspective. How things can be exactly the same, but your perspective may shift with experience.

With all that said, I see this picture, of something that is being called “Pizza”, and I realize that pineapple on pizza isn’t the abomination to the form of pizza that I once percieved it as.

Booooooooooooooooooo!

Obviously he loves old timey steam trains!

I saw that same T-Shirt at the mall in 2001.

“How frightfully rude! I certainly hope somebody stabs him in the eye!”

Oh. Damn. Good thing I found this out.

I mean, I never have actually touched rogaine, but this is kinda like when I was 4, and I was going to feed a dog a piece of chocolate. The dog wanted chocolate, I wanted to share, suddenly I’m getting my hand slapped and yelled at.

Like c’mon! We JUST watched a seseme street last week about how good sharing is! Now my wrist hurts!

THEN she tells me dogs can’t have chocolate! Like I’m just supposed to just KNOW a dogs digestive system! I’m still learning colors and shapes, and you’re asking me to know biology of dogs!

So, no dogs have died from chocolate from me, and now I know if I lose my hair, and have a cat, I can’t have rogaine. Because I assume I’ll be sleeping, and you just KNOW my cat is gonna be the weirdo cat who licks people in their sleep. Suddenly I wake up with a dead cat.

So good thing I learned now.

I’m confused how a robot even CAN be emotionally supportive. I didn’t even know this was a thing.

I’m unclear, and I’m not going to do this, but what does that do? Is it poison to them?

You’re going to snuggle me, feed me, and clean my poop?

…ok man…

That’s not a headline. That’s like the science community releasing a headline that Earth has been confirmed to be an oxygen rich environment.

Short answer: No.

Slightly longer answer: Nope.

Windows 11’s spying and bloat is what’s pushing me away from windows.

Julie Nolke has some thoughts on this…

Welp. Now I feel a fool!

Do you honestly think 16 year old me gave 2 shits about being fired? Or that an arbys manager would give 2 shits about customers? Have you BEEN to arbys???

Also, your logic doesn’t track. If you’re saying that McDonalds should fire this guy for snitching, that implies that McDonalds DOESN’T support snitching. That his actions were his own and do not represent the company who at that point would no longer employ him.

Whereas I knew MY manager at that time would have been high as hell at work, and loved to watch this woman yell and scream and be a karen decades before that term existed. I directed her to take her threat DIRECTLY to the front of house to put on a show everyone can see, because I knew I had no reason to give a shit.

And really, NO fast food worker should give a shit about the customers past a certain point. Be nice to those nice to you, but when they start bitching, they can fuck off with that.

Back to the topic at hand, the snitching would be their own personal actions, not the company.

This isn’t even humor at this point. I’m legitimately starting to think The Onion is in the midst of transitional changes to becoming a legitimate news outlet that just reports news.

Like this one doesn’t even seem absurd or funny. It just seems like the logical reaction people will have. This just comes off as a legit news report on an aburd situation. Rather than an absurd mocking news report on a realistically fake situatuation.

That tracks.

Did you say “Baked cakes”?