I come back every year or so and play for a month or two each time, still haven’t spent money on it (but starting to think I should, to support the devs)

Agreed. I haven’t been on an instance that federates with them yet and I’d like to keep it that way.

What’s cool about the fediverse is that we get to choose.

Do I want to be in an instance that federates with everyone, good and bad?

Pros:

• More content.
• Potentially insightful debate.

Cons:

• More negativity.
• Potentially giving a platform to extremists.

Or do I want to be in an instance that defederates on a whim?

Pros:

• More positive content.
• Taking a strong stance against extremism.

Cons:

• Less content.
• Potentially missing insightful debate.

Personally, debate I’ve had that was insightful was generally in good faith to begin with, and would be allowed on platforms like Beehaw, so I don’t see much use for “anything goes” kinds of platforms. Additionally, I’m not always in the mood for debate. I can just switch between different instances depending on my mood. Given that everyone can choose their instance, I don’t see much of a reason for trying to federate with everyone.