Are you the progenitor of the opossum saga?

The opossum saga lives on in my camera roll, and it is spread far and wide.

I don’t see the announcement

Thank you for the new word!

Personally, I think the grammar bots fit right into Reddit culture.

Everyone is a smarty-pants on Reddit!

I do hope that people respect the instance hosts and go easy on the trivial bots when it comes to Lemmy though.

I’ve got a good one for you.

If all you want is the really juicy stuff, skip down to the last paragraph. I think it’s better with the exposition, though. I’ve also put a TL;DR at the bottom.

Two weeks before I moved in to my room, Ii received a message from one of my suitemates (I had contacted all of my room/suitemates before moving in, because I’m all about establishing relationships). The contents of this message were short, vague, and cryptic; all it said was “Check your roommates insta”. Initially, I assumed my suitemate saw something funny: Cringy selfies, chain posts, or the like. While what I found on his page was funny to a degree, it was none of the aforementioned things. It was hentai.

There was so much of it, and it went on for so long, I was blown away. Visions of Anime Posters covering the walls raced through my head, and so too did the thought of him enjoying and posting these pictures. (with over 22,000 posts, he puts a new image up around every 3 hours).

As move-in day arrived, I was overtaken with a morbid curiosity. What did this kid look like? Upon arriving, I opened the door to our room to be greeted by the one and only Hentai God. At first, his appearance was nothing out of the ordinary, just an African-American 18yo.

What quickly came to my attention, however, is that while the Hentai God did in fact work out, he only worked his arms. This led to a stature that can best be described as resembling that of Larry from SpongeBob. There’s nothing particularly wrong with that, but I would think that if you put that much effort into your arms you would at least develop a little bit of upper body strength in other areas.

There’s more to my roommate than enjoying hentai and being topheavy, though; He will wait to go to bed until I arrive, sitting in his rolly chair and staring at the door. He’ll record me doing mundane things and put them on his snapchat story without asking me or even making it remotely clear I was ever being recorded. He’ll talk to himself, often repeating the same few words over and over again for up to an hour. He’ll listen to the same song day in and day out, making cryptic hand gestures while he listens. Sometimes he even breathes as one snores while he’s awake. I talked to my RA, and he says that despite all these things he cannot move me to another room because dorms are “past full capacity”. Wish me luck, everybody.

TL;DR Roommate loves Hentai and almost has me convinced he’s mentally insane.