I don’t want to be “pretty,” I want to be devastatingly handsome. I want to be actaeonizingly beautiful to all genders.

You can tell it’s parody because it describes an actual valuable feature.

And then you get to a point where you look at that and think “clever but I’m sure it’s fucked up in some way that isn’t immediately obvious.”

Who used those triangular pastel buttons? I remember seeing them on some friends’ computers but not on any Dells or Gateway 2000 machines. Maybe Compaq? Or Packard Bell?

I saw Slackware running on a similar config, although it was probably a 486/50 or 486/66.

I remember my dad’s friend upgrading our PC clone to 640K. He used a soldering iron.

“Try not to suck any dicks on your way to the parking lot!”