The issue is not what meaning we(those of us who are autistic) take from it. The issue is that the people who will bully will use it as further justification to bully and to socially abuse people.

I don’t know about the other people involved in this discussion, as I know that obsessive interests are part of different communities, but I am someone who studies languages and word meanings.

The information that I am sharing is not my perspective. Those words do have that context in common spoken English in the year 2023.

That would not have been the case many decades ago, but the word “identify” tends to be used ironically and sarcastically and with derision. It doesn’t matter if the word is used by itself or paired with the word “self”.

I’ll point out the definitions on Urban Dictionary, to point this out(and not just on the first page, but on pages beyond that):

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=identify

Insisting that people who have not been professionally diagnosed use “self-identified” will lead to even more bullying and social abuse from neurotypical people who already use that context when trying to justify their bullying and social abuse.

“Self-assessed” would be a phrase which is more exact and does not have that additional context of being tied to groups that have been targeted for bullying and social abuse.

Bigots commonly insist that trans people use “I identify as” rather than “I am” when the transgender people are giving their gender, because the intention is to deny those people the ability to be seen as their preferred gender and instead give the impression that those people are impostors, implying that “identifying” is more akin to “relating” instead of categorization.

Insisting that an ostensibly autistic person use “self-identified” instead of “self-diagnosed” would have the same effect.

If you want to use a proper word that’s not “diagnosed”, “self-assessed” would be more accurate.

“What is your ethnicity?”

The term “identified” is used as an insult, particularly when referring to transgender people, to imply that they aren’t really correct. I don’t think it’s appropriate to use that in the context of autism, because many of the people who do believe themselves to be autistic do go on to get professionally diagnosed. I became interested about 20 years ago in the possibility that I may be autistic, as I met all of the criteria, but only recently did I actually get the resources to pay for a diagnosis. It cost me nearly $3500.

The problem is that self-diagnosis IS valid, when it is valid, and is not valid, when it is not valid.

OMG a PIZZA PARTY!

I just paid $3,300 for a diagnosis. I used a flexible spending account, which meant that that was pre-tax money. I felt that it was worth it, because of the possibility of having certain protections available to me in the future if they’re needed(for example, in employment, and possibly some day unemployment). It also provided closure to know instead of just suspect for the rest of my life. I am glad that I went through with the diagnosis. It also led to diagnosis of not just autism, but some other things, as well. Keep that possibility in mind that autism might not be the only thing they diagnose you with, and that might provide you knowledge or might help you in some way.