MANHATTAN, NY - With Donald Trump becoming the first president in United States history to be found guilty of criminal charges, observers note that this felony conviction is also the first instance of Trump earning anything in his entire life.
“Observers note that earning these felony convictions fly in the face of Trump’s long documented history of never lifting a finger to do real work in his 77 years on this planet. Despite subsisting entirely on family wealth and business connections, having his reputation as a shrewd businessman created out of whole cloth by reality TV producers, and clinching the 2016 presidential election with massive help from Russian cyber operations, Trump has finally earned a criminal conviction entirely on his own.”
“Observers note that earning these felony convictions fly in the face of Trump’s long documented history of never lifting a finger to do real work in his 77 years on this planet. Despite subsisting entirely on family wealth and business connections, having his reputation as a shrewd businessman created out of whole cloth by reality TV producers, and clinching the 2016 presidential election with massive help from Russian cyber operations, Trump has finally earned a criminal conviction entirely on his own.”
Gold.