• brown567@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Easy! Just spend the month in a US hospital without insurance

    Hopefully the billion will cover the rest of the bill

    • qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website
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      2 months ago

      Property can take a while to close — offer to title in under 30 days is on the quick side.

      Of course, you could probably close very fast if you offered 100M cash on a 10M property…

      • Baphomet_The_Blasphemer@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        If you’re buying vacant land and paying cash, you can close really quickly as there’s nothing in need of inspection, and loan processing times aren’t a factor… I have a buddy who just purchased 100+ acres of vacant land from a logging company. He paid cash and was able to close in just a few weeks.

  • ditty@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Sent this to my friend at AWS and he said it was already all-over their internal Memes Slack channel. At least their engineers and project managers are in on the joke. 😁

  • slazer2au@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Create a serverless function on AWS that calls a serverless function on Azure, which calls a serverless function on gcp which calls a serverless function on Oracle cloud which loops it back to AWS.

    Now stick CloudFlare in between each step of that.

  • DrDominate@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Genie never said they’d give me a 100M to spend in the first place. No way I’d be able to spend 100M that I don’t have.

  • FarmTaco@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Ill show up to dealership row and just start buying out car dealerships until I hit 100m and have that done in an afternoon

    • itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      Bad investment, you can’t resell them for nearly as much and you’ve contributed to the automobile industry that is lobbying hard against climate change policy

      I’d start buying up mid-sized companies and reorganizing them as worker co-ops. Doing some long-term good while not violating the terms of the contract

      If you’re just after the money, do as every billionaire looking to launder some money does and buy art.

  • win95@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    Easy. Buy 100 homes in my city. Become a landlord. Barely ask rent so it’s technically not gifting. Use my infinite money to maintain the homes so people have affordable decent housing. Profit for all!

    • andrewta@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Short time later your homes are in ruins and your broke from continuously fixing your houses.

      • DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        I sincerely doubt that the maintenance bill for 100 houses is going to exceed a billion dollars any time in for foreseeable future.

      • OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        Found the idle rent seeker, or worse, a bootlicker for idle rent seekers.

        There is a reason why capitalists and socialists both hate landlords, they are a relic of feudalism.

  • Seigest@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    Give it all away anyway. Screw that genie, wealth hoarding jerk. At worst he kills you and you leave a saintly legacy.