• Maggoty@lemmy.world
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    24 days ago

    Hey that pinecone was a serious incident. A police officer felt threatened and shot his entire magazine into a nearby animal hospital. Thankfully he had loaded baby skull seeking bullets that day instead of the family dog seeking bullets he usually used. Massive casualties were avoided only by officer ButtBite’s courageous decision to use baby skull seeking bullets instead of family dog seeking bullets. Everyone knows he has a phobia of family dogs. That poor traumatized man has been bitten 4 times by family dogs, they just hate him. His promotion ceremony is at 5 so we can make the primetime news with it. And in case anyone out there is worried, that villainous child is going to prison for years. He should be locked away for life after he endangered everyone with that pinecone!