My diagnosed-autistic boyfriend mentioned it to me. I researched it, the label fit. Took the online quizzes, started adapting some of the suggested coping strategies/‘life hacks’ and they helped.

Then I realized that maybe all the comfortable, ‘normal’ engineering nerd college friends I fit in with were less neurotypical than I thought. Other friends that had formal diagnoses told me that I felt autistic to them. We flock, you know. Later, I mentioned it to my therapist and she was like “yeah, you seem autistic to me”.

My mental health has been slowly degrading over the last 20 years. But when something changes very slowly I always wonder “did it really change?”. Also when I am depressed it feels like I have allways been depressed. So for a long time I didn’t do anything about it and just tried to function. Our neighbours, who are also friends are social workers and they work with autistic people who can not live without help but are mostly independent. They once let slip that they think I could be autistic. When everything got so bad that I finally couldn’t procrastinate looking for therapy any more I had an initial talk with a psychologist. They asked some questions we were talking about many aspects of my life when I told them about the theory. Next thing they told me was: “This must be diagnosed before you start any kind of therapy because the therapy would need to be completely different depending on the diagnosis.” So I started searching for places who diagnose autism in adults. Every one in my area had waiting lists for years so I started looking further out. In the end I was lucky and found a place in a city I could reach by train (I can’t drive) where I had to wait only a month or so. The friendly psychologist there told me after a few minutes that she was reasonably sure I was autistic and had ADHD but that we still needed to do all the tests just to be sure. We did all the tests and it was confirmed.

A few years back there was a reddit AMA on “people with autism, how would you describe it to people without?”. I read it out of curiosity, and with a growing sense of unease that most of the things people described I identified with myself! At the time I largely shook off – I’m an introverted nerd, of course I like spending time on my own and focussed on an interest – but a pretty common thing mentioned was “it feels like everyone else got the instruction manual of how to behave and socialise and I missed out”, and I felt that one in my soul. More recently my brother was exploring the possibility he might be (ND friends had suggested it) and he passed on the embrace-autism.com website which I again identified pretty strongly with, and more pertinently, absolutely aced the self-assessment tests. It still would have been just a now-strong-possibility, but otherwise not that relevant, but after attending a particularly loud party with my girlfriend I had a shutdown episode. I’m pretty sure I’ve experienced it before but probably not in front of someone like that, and that was when I decided to investigate more formally.

A long time I experienced myself as “normal”. It didn’t occur to me, that “all the others are weird” can’t be right. While reading about ADHD a friend of mine also read about Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome. He often said (both teasingly and matter-of-factly) “You most certainly are autistic”. Eventually I had enough of it and looked it up. The Wikipidia article convinced me blazingly fast (“wrong planet syndrome”) and I got diagnosed within half a year by the age of 34 (i.e. 8 years ago by the time of writing).

I was my therapist’s PHD thesis. I was like 48. Up to that point everyone knew I was a bit odd, but couldn’t put their finger on it. (Though I do have a lifelong Major Depression diagnosis, so most people just figured I’m a lune.)

I was really starting to notice how much I identified with issues and problems and just the general way of being other people with ADHD and autism describe it, so went to the doctor to find out. Was diagnosed with ADHD and BPD, and given a referral for further testing for autism and other issues, but my appointments kept getting pushed back for that until I eventually gave up on it and am now seeking a different doctor that takes my insurance, because there’s a good chance I am actually on the spectrum.

In 2019 my friend started sending me compilations of ADHD and ASD videos and memes. They had clocked me long before I understood myself, probably due to my severe sensory issues that make life hell for me and anyone living with me. I thought they were funny and really resonated but it was a very very slow realization. I was in a lot of denial but the more other people talked about their struggles (through comedy, my main coping mechanism) the more I identified with them.

I’ve been formally diagnosed with ADHD. I have taken all of the tests for ASD and score highly but I am not pursuing an official diagnosis. The ADHD can be used for any accommodation I request and generally isn’t used against people the way an ASD diagnosis would be.

It’s been about a 4 year journey of self reflection and exposure to what ADHD/ASD really are (vs. the dated stereotypes of “squirrel” or nonverbal or Rain Man) to understand there’s an explanation for my many, many traits.

Tl;Dr funny tiktoks made me question my identity and I unraveled

My son was diagnosed before he even turned 3 and his younger sister was being assessed, both of them are non-verbal. What I was learning about it put so many things from my entire childhood and youth in perspective and everything finally made sense, so I consulted and sure enough was diagnosed myself. My parents refused to accept it, they said I’m making excuses to not act “normally” and have cut all contact. I made my peace with that and am grateful about it, I no longer have to tolerate toxic people demeaning me for who I am, and my children sure don’t deserve that.

Its been in the back of my mind for years, but it was Fern Brady’s run on Taskmaster that convinced me to dig deeper. She’s been open about here diagnosis and I saw a lot of familiar things in her.

I met an autistic woman (same age, late 40’s) and watched the Chris Packham documentary. I then began to research heavily into my new (special) interest, read how women present differently than men, did a few of those online tests, and then went to my GP to ask for a referral, which led to my official diagnosis

I think that I’ve always felt ‘other’ and never fitted in despite trying (masking) and also the fact that everyone I’ve run into conflict with has always said my communication (verbal) is poor, and that socially I’m either a bit ‘weird’ or introvert/loner etc, but also I don’t really want to fit into the ‘norm’ because it feels fake, and stupid, and I feel like an alien anyway

Since then, I realise that my dad is definitely autistic (loves trains and his interests haven’t changed since he was a child), friends I have/had, as well as the people I gravitate towards are also probably autistic. I’m fairly certain my boyfriend is (he is also convinced), and I look at my mother and also wonder…hmmmm

Every difficulty I’ve ever had including anxiety, problems interacting with others, depression, general stubbornness, weird moodiness that comes on for ‘no reason’ (basically misinterpreted sensory overload causing shutdowns/meltdowns), being bullied at every educational level plus work is me trying to mask my autism and fit in, while failing miserably…

It was a huge relief to read about autism in women, and know that ‘these are my people’ and I’m actually a just an autistic person :)

I also want to add, this is my first interaction with this community, although I’ve really enjoyed all the memes, some had me laughing my head off. I used to lurk and occasionally comment on some of the female autism subs on reddit, so I’m glad this place exists here, it’s got a good vibe!

My therapist brought up the possibility that I may be neurodivergent. I had gone through a difficult breakup and was increasing angry and impulsive and had no idea what to do.

After a few sessions, she noticed a lot of my issues of feeling alienated and social exhaustion were very similar to other clients she had. I was technically diagnosed early on but my parents disregarded it and so I continued life without knowing otherwise.

So throughout my adolescence, I had difficulties with “fitting in” and a pervasive sense of incompetency that developed into long-term depression. My perpetual exhaustion was due to the fact I was masking constantly. It’s been freeing and I’ve been a lot more forgiving of myself especially to my past.

Still waiting on my assessment.

I was working in a school with a lot of differnt courses. I’ve come across a few like “working with Nerodivergence” things just clicked.

I asked a colleague if this behaviors list was accurate as it could apply to anyone. They asked why I thought that. because all there are things i do and I’m not… oh.

A Healthygamer.gg video talked about the overlap of transgender and autism and that was when I was able to accept I (probably) have autism, and soon thereafter fullt accepted myself as trans female rather than a less extreme version of trans.