You’re missing a key part to the story, Saul (no, not that Saul/Paul) was buying selling a human woman with those foreskins.
And who was the person who wanted traded these foreskins in exchange for the human woman? David, as in, David and Goliath.
Edit: swapped the vendor/purchaser. I left the religion about 20 years ago, so I should probably fact-check myself before posting.
Kinda got it backwards-King Saul required David to do it for his daughter’s hand in marriage. David and his squad killed 200 of Saul’s (Israel’s) sworn enemies. That was the source of the payment.
Thanks for the correction. I left the religion about 20 years ago, so I should probably fact-check myself before posting about it. Memories are not perfect.
Oh isn’t there also a part when the israelites circumsize the whole enemy army after defeat or something like that? I also like the part about Job where god literally bets with the devil how Job will keep his faith and then proceeds to kill his family and destroy his livelihood, bringing him to poverty and edge of death. And because he keeps believing he then gives him a new family and stuff but how fucked up is that for a "benevolent’ god?
My favorite is the time god smites a dude because he was an asshole.
But then, like, his brother needed to get the wife preggo* and didn’t so he could inherite all of his dad’s shit, so he kept up with some awesome pull out game**… so god smites him, too.
So she goes off without a son cuz the daddy ain’t doing his thing either… until he goes to war… then she becomes a camp follower (aka prostitute.) seduces him, gets preggo, takes his banner as proof; or something… and the. Comes back with a son…
*levitate marriage. Widows without children where basically not taken care of… so, the idea is the brother gives his son an heir, the widow can take care of the son’s inheritance, blah blah blah)
**that never works irl. It’s almost like god just wanted to smite another asshole…helped him out a little.
But then, like, his brother needed to get the wife preggo* and didn’t so he could inherite all of his dad’s shit, so he kept up with some awesome pull out game**… so god smites him, too.
And that’s why you’ll go to hell if you touch yourself down there, Billy.
Like seriously. Because a guy one time pulled out because he was an asshole and wanted the inheritance that would otherwise go to his “nephew”… which would have (and did) cause his brother’s widow go into destitution, so god smote him.
Also… side note… that’s the kind of world they view as ideal.
I’ll take my chances with the sky fairy rather than the courts. One has a track record of being wrong a lot and causing grievous financial harm, and the other is imaginary.
I can top that with scripture. In 2 Kings 2:23-25 Elisha goes to Bethel and a bunch of children make fun of him for being bald. So Elisha prays to God to handle it and God sends two bears out of the woods to maul all 42 of the children to death.
Thr bible has some of the most fucked up things happen in it.
In the Bible payment is made in foreskins… Yes foreskins… So much fucked up shit in that book.
You’re missing a key part to the story, Saul (no, not that Saul/Paul) was
buyingselling a human woman with those foreskins.And who was the person who
wantedtraded these foreskins in exchange for the human woman? David, as in, David and Goliath.Edit: swapped the vendor/purchaser. I left the religion about 20 years ago, so I should probably fact-check myself before posting.
Well you didn’t think that sling was just made of out any old leather, did you?
It’s a sling, but if you rub it, it becomes a catapult.
Kinda got it backwards-King Saul required David to do it for his daughter’s hand in marriage. David and his squad killed 200 of Saul’s (Israel’s) sworn enemies. That was the source of the payment.
Thanks for the correction. I left the religion about 20 years ago, so I should probably fact-check myself before posting about it. Memories are not perfect.
Oh isn’t there also a part when the israelites circumsize the whole enemy army after defeat or something like that? I also like the part about Job where god literally bets with the devil how Job will keep his faith and then proceeds to kill his family and destroy his livelihood, bringing him to poverty and edge of death. And because he keeps believing he then gives him a new family and stuff but how fucked up is that for a "benevolent’ god?
My favorite is the time god smites a dude because he was an asshole.
But then, like, his brother needed to get the wife preggo* and didn’t so he could inherite all of his dad’s shit, so he kept up with some awesome pull out game**… so god smites him, too.
So she goes off without a son cuz the daddy ain’t doing his thing either… until he goes to war… then she becomes a camp follower (aka prostitute.) seduces him, gets preggo, takes his banner as proof; or something… and the. Comes back with a son…
*levitate marriage. Widows without children where basically not taken care of… so, the idea is the brother gives his son an heir, the widow can take care of the son’s inheritance, blah blah blah)
**that never works irl. It’s almost like god just wanted to smite another asshole…helped him out a little.
And that’s why you’ll go to hell if you touch yourself down there, Billy.
Actually? That’s why contraceptives are bad,
Like seriously. Because a guy one time pulled out because he was an asshole and wanted the inheritance that would otherwise go to his “nephew”… which would have (and did) cause his brother’s widow go into destitution, so god smote him.
Also… side note… that’s the kind of world they view as ideal.
I know, but they also claim that’s why you aren’t supposed to masturbate. That’s why another word for masturbation is ‘onanism.’
I’ll take my chances with the sky fairy rather than the courts. One has a track record of being wrong a lot and causing grievous financial harm, and the other is imaginary.
I can top that with scripture. In 2 Kings 2:23-25 Elisha goes to Bethel and a bunch of children make fun of him for being bald. So Elisha prays to God to handle it and God sends two bears out of the woods to maul all 42 of the children to death.
I mean… you know. Being bald is hard. totally understandable. killing 42 kids, over baldie jokes.
idk what you’re talking about, genociding 99.99% of the world is perfectly moral when god does it obviously
I mean if we believe the idea that he created rhe world and humans then I guess he has the right to do so. How moral it is I will not comment.
I mean I don’t know if that necessarily gives him the right… I can’t exactly murder my kid just because I made them unfortunately