Romance is dead. Try putting stuff up your butt instead.
get you a wife who does both
yes but then when I talk about dying alone it will be like 30% more sad and distract from the punchlines.
plus, someone I like would be presumably spending a bunch of time around, and MUCH worse; be legally associated with someone who I actually like. that seems kind of pointlessly cruel.
17 years of marriage this year. 21 years together.
This morning, we were cuddling, and she asked, “Do you think other couples love each other as much as we do?”
I said, “I hope there are lots.” Then we made out, had sex, and started the day—I went grocery shopping while she cleaned the kitchen. When I got back, we put everything away, made out again in the kitchen, and now I’m stretched out on a freshly made bed while she watches TV.
I know, it sounds disgustingly perfect. And honestly? It is. This is my life, every day, with the woman I adore more everyday.
If you’re reading this, I just want you to know—this kind of love exists. It’s real. But it’s not luck. It’s something you build, something you protect, something you choose every single day.
It’s worth it.
Happy for you! I agree with you, a happy marriage is a continued commitment two people make each and every day to each other.
As a married man, it do be that good.
Super, super early days, but I just started talking to this guy, and for the first time ever I feel like this might actually be an option for me, except replace wife with husband.
Wayyyyy to early to be thinking that, but the brain does what it does
Good luck. 👍
Now it is your holy duty to keep us updated !
I hope it happens!
Now it is your holy duty to keep us updated !
You don’t have to have a wife to use one as an excuse to get out of social situations
What are you going to do when people want to meet her then? Lol
lie with as much narrative and dramatic potential as I possibly can, and hope they follow up. maybe something that, when they find out, will just stun them with pure bleakness.
While sitting you slap your hands down to your knees give out a long “Welllllll” as you stand up and say
I’d love to introduce you to her but I gotta get home to the wife
Have you even watched Spy X Family?
I think that might be the joke. that they are mutual beards.
but the joke in the show is that they are kinda perfect for one another as people, and the telepath knows it.
Offer left hand to shake?
Doesn’t have a wife and is already unhealthily attached
And once that happens, you’ll soon realize just how sexist people are when they make fun of you for being “whipped” and call her “the ol’ ball and chain”.
REJECT Al Bundy energy
EMBRACE Gomez Addams energy
Live in the present, be yourself at all costs, love and respect your SO visibly, vocally, and at every opportunity
proof straight relationships can be cool.
Compared to the love between Morticia and Gomez, it’s no wonder everything else in the world seems so miserable to them.
Gomez Addams was one of my early male role models and I’m so grateful.
Oh you got to use that shit to your advantage. My ex partner and I would sometimes do this dance where she really likes something but doesn’t like the price. She would call me with a trigger phrase meaning to say no.
So on speaker, I’d be like, “Huh. Are you sure? It doesn’t sound like a great deal. Maybe we should sit on it. I think it’d make more sense if it was like $x amount less.”
The sales guy would often take this and come back with an amount that’s more reasonable. If my partner said the trigger phrase again, I’d stick to the no. Otherwise I’d agree.
Fun times.
“I gotta go, my wife is home”
“Ooooh, you’re whipped!”
“No, I just prefer her company to yours.”
the other answer is “no, I wish, but she has arthritis.”
“Ooooh, you’re whipped!”
“If I’m lucky!”
Not really into that thing myself, but it gets a great reaction.
shit I missed that someone already said it.
“I gotta go, my wife is home”
“Ooooh, you’re whipped!”
“Jim, you confide in me regularly you are painfully lonely. The last woman you took out on a date ghosted you after you started ordering her around like a misogynistic asshole because you watch garbage on tiktok about the ‘alpha male’ fallacy and treat it like a guide to life. Under your bravado is a scared man-child that worries they’ll be alone forever. The worst part is that that fear is real unless you do some honest introspection really fucking fast and realize you are your own worse enemy in this. You’ve got about 3 years left to get your shit together before most of the loving, intelligent, and self-confident women get snatched up in marriages of their own. Its not the world’s fault you are in this situation, its yours buddy. You’ve made choices in the past that put you here and 30 seconds ago you made another one with your shitty joke trying to belittle my loving relationship with my wife because you’re envious I have a person that cares about me and you don’t. Seriously man, its a bad look. You have the capacity to be better than that. You gonna finish those nachos or can I take them with me? Oh, I’ll see you Saturday for the game.”
That was… specific?
Hahaha, I love it
It’s okay. When people say that to me it just makes me realize they are either lonely and jealous or regretting their own decision to marry because either they chose poorly or they are the problem.
Either way I ignore it and go home to my best friend :)
Well, excuse me for marrying someone who’s company I enjoy. Maybe I should have married someone how would make me miserable, like you…
Dude, seriously. Hanging out with my wife is the best thing ever.
<3
Get into an interracial relationship for twice the fun!
Yeah, but it’s fucking hilarious to respond to that kind of energy with pure joy about your marriage, and watch the dawning realisation that it’s not actually a universal experience.
Honestly though, once you kick off that “I love my wife” energy you’ll be surprised how enthusiastically people agree. Most people only parrot the ball and chain stuff because they think they have to. When one person breaks ranks basically everyone follows.
I’m just so honest that people are too uncomfortable to make a dumb comment. Like
This was nice but right now I’d rather go home and enjoy some co op video games and oral sex with my partner
The oral sex part is optional. Wouldn’t say that to family. It works regardless.
Preach.
Then you can adopt a psychic child and a dog that can see the future.
#lifegoals ❤️
no no no, the telepathic child arrives first.
All I need is Bond.
I’ve got the happiness. my kid isn’t psychic, my dog can’t see the future, and my wife isn’t an assassin, and I’m okay with all that.
Can’t help but notice you didn’t say you aren’t a secret agent 🤔
And as far as Loid goes, he doesn’t believe any of that about his wife, daughter, or dog. 🧐
and my wife isn’t an assassin,
So far as you know
Idk man, it seems pretty sad that you can’t just say “hey i’m headed home to rest”. Or just declare a time you’re gonna go home early.
Social pressure is hard. They’ll say “nooo just another round”, instead a “I have to go or my wife will castrate me in my sleep” is much more effective
responsibility to yourself is not socially important. responsibility to others, and their ability to hate you for failing, comes off as much more substantial. bonus points if they aren’t someone who can be reached to explain something to, effectively beyond the reach of someone making an argument.
this echoes nothing else terrible in our culture, and I’m not sure whether it’s the vulnerability to this reasoning or the institutions based on it that came first.
Wives are the best
But…Loid and Yor are faking it to avoid scrutiny.
They do really care about each other though.
I mean at a subconscious level, they have feelings for each other – a good chunk of the show is them dancing around that concept. That being said, all they both know is that it’s a marriage of convenience – neither knows the full identity of the other.
Yor constantly worries she won’t measure up to Loid’s needs, and that’s a risk to government scrutiny by the secret police. Loid worries his relationship with Yor doesn’t look airtight, and could compromise Operation Strix. Everything they do publicly to prove their relationship is legit is an act in which any enjoyment is a secondary benefit (like the scene above).
If you know, you know.
I was also wondering why Thorn Princess and Agent Twilight were chosen as the iconic happy loving couple.
Bartender asks you what you’re doing later? “Going home to my wife”
Those first three words really make that response far more wholesome than it would’ve been otherwise
I just wanna know where all this rizz was twenty years ago
Just discovered this show. 10/10 just plain fun to watch
What show?
Spy Family
Go over to the db0 pirate community mega thread. Pick an anime streaming site, and treat yourself.
Spy X Family. It’s a fun show.
