I always assume that my brain is structured in a way that at least 5% of people could relate to my general thought processes, but it turns out that some of my experiences of being a human are really just a “me” thing. I’ve often told myself that I’m just like everyone else, and that all of my personality traits are explainable by a mishmash of stereotypes and systemic influences. But I guess there’s more to it than that, and I’ve been selling myself a bit short.
Can you give some examples?
I used to think it required an emotional connection for most people to find someone else “hot,” because that’s how I work. But it turns out that I’m in a small minority.
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I’ve grown into this way of thinking and feeling. I used to see attractiveness in aesthetics with emotional connection as an after thought.
I run into this being ace spec, in college I even had friends trying (successfully) to set me up with dates and they never went anywhere because it was never something I cared enough about to prioritize.
I don’t really find myself sexually attracted to anyone, but having an emotional connection makes a big difference in wanting a romantic relationship for me.
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I’ve heard that’s called aesthetic attraction! I experience that too.
I’m attracted to gentle and caring personalities, and I’ve found that I am most aesthetically attracted to soft, rounded features, seemingly because I subconsciously associate them with kindness and approachability, regardless how true that actually is.
I think it’s really fascinating how my aesthetic attraction seems to have taken input from my emotional attraction without me even being consciously aware of it. The more I learn about myself, the more it seems like my brain was orchestrating a plan to create a specific kind of relationship, and all of my attractions and even my own gender expression were coordinating to make it real.