Well yeah, of course the problem here would be child support and not divorce is functionally impossible in Missouri.

That was very nearly my exact same thought. Maybe not for curious children with carrot-sized fingers, but for adults, how convenient! Business competitor’s body won’t quite fit in your fancy frunk? Just while away on your phone for about 10 minutes, let the cat do its magic, and off go the legs! Travel-sized!

Fanning slowly – “I am married.”

Fanning quickly – “I am engaged.”

Using as a fan – “Introduce me to your company.”

…?

I have to wonder who came up with this. One would imagine it was just some idea someone had and they published a whole etiquette book about it, and it slowly but forcefully caught on from there, because otherwise I can’t imagine this just being a thing that evolves spontaneously in a way everyone equally understands. Imagine sitting all the way across the room at a ball or something and witnessing someone break up with their boytoy through body language. With perfect clarity for all to see. You might as well just say it out loud.

Middle-age would be in your 40s-50s. Not to diss my dead relatives too hard, but you’re thinking of old fucks that would have any solid opinion on that. In a handful of years, the music middle aged men will be up in arms about is *NSYNC.

Remember, if the thick cloud emitted by the egg only drifts upwards, it’s probably no good.

No, this graphic really is solid advice for people to know, but damn if it could have been designed with a little more forethought. Imagine, for instance, if the reader is yellow/blue colorblind. They could make a guess at what’s happening, but they may not quite be sure. Arrows are doing 99% of the lifting, here.

Christ, do you understand how big this could be if anyone would let it? (they won’t)

Even a ton of “more environmentally friendly” textiles are as bad if not somehow worse than their already destructive counterparts. I ran the numbers once in an argument and a recyclable shopping bag requires a little over 70 uses just to break even with the comparable pollution it took to make it, but most people who even use them throw them out after less than 20.

God, I wish it said anything about how resilient it is as clothing in comparison to regular leather. I’ve known about the making of lab-grown ghost hearts and stuff through a similar method for a while now, but this never even occurred to me. I know next to nothing about bacteria, clearly.

Sadly, there’s still too much money in doing anything else, I’d bet. So many companies put too much effort into PR, greenwashing and general slavery to want to move over, and this would affect more industries than one.

Really, it’s babies’ fault for not staying ahead of the game. With all the germs they roll in and all the poop they produce, they should have something to show for it by now.

On the one hand, I feel really proud that I got under your skin so much that mine is the only contribution you’ve ever replied to in the 7 months that whole account has even existed. Someone just clearly isn’t having a good day if that’s the one thing that set off a professional lurker.

But also, like…I thought about this all through my quesadilla and it’s just really sad? Is this like Incel Logic: Hobby Edition, where you’re either born perfect and flawless or you’re a permanent shit failure and therefore whichever way the coin falls, you never have to work at anything? Like Big Education is a trillion dollar industry now, and really society is divided up Airbender style and you just didn’t get the CalArts gene?

There’s only one kind of person I can see falling for this weak-ass angle, and it’s the kind of person who’s never taken up any recreation for more than 1-2 days in their whole life because they don’t start out amazing at it and you can’t fail at anything if you never do shit. And honestly, I’m kinda bummed out that you have to live like that. You know you can just look up tutorials for anything these days.

A lot of people you read about who grew to be leaders in their field by some ridiculous age like 25, spoke fluently in 5 different languages, etc. etc. did so because they had three things: dedicated one-on-one tutors, an appreciable collection of slaves and/or other general servants to free up their personal time, and enough family wealth to pay for both from the time they could walk.

Mozart was composing as a toddler, but he also came from a wealthy family of musicians that taught him basically nothing else. Ever. That was the one thing. He hyper-specialized in music and socially he was the guy that got bored and did cartwheels and meowed in public. If Mozart was in your position, with the kind of loving care and finances most students have today, he would have been the kid in class who beatboxes over the teacher.

I’m actually still coming to terms with this myself. with mixed success. I’ve always loved art, but I’ve never been where I want to be. I’ve been making strides again, but the further I take it, the more it becomes apparent that 90% of the problems I’ve ever had with it were not me, they were because no one ever bothered to teach me. And I’m pissed about the decades I lost simply because child me was never shown concepts that would have changed everything.

Do not judge your own accomplishments on the same scale as someone who had ample time to devote to their studies because their family had house slaves doing everything you have to do by yourself.

Guess what happened the two whole times I deliberately ignored the “paranoia.”
Go on. Guess.

It probably takes me that long just to wash and rinse my hair.

To add one more aspect: When someone writes a reply asking for a source, did they actually do a short Google-search related to the claim? It basically takes the same time to just look at the summary of the search results as asking for a source. So I assume if someone asks for verification for an easily searchable fact, then they are acting in bad faith.

This point rubs me a little wrong both on the basis that

A) onus of proof falls on the one making the claim

B) if it takes the same amount of time to find the answer as it took for them to ask you, then logically it takes the same amount of time to include a source for anyone that wants further reading as it would to make them look for it

and (most importantly)

C) you can find pretty much anything on the internet if you’ve got 12 minutes to dedicate to looking through all the clickbait.

The result becomes that I can say any batshit thing I want to and now it’s your job to discredit your own stance for me, and if you aren’t convinced, you aren’t googling hard enough. Instead of just asking and finding out I got it from The Onion, which I would naturally be very against having to say out loud.

You’re supposed to ask what brush he uses.

This seems like some “Einstein working at the patent office” type shit to me. I would have never thought how to do that and I hope that mechanical aptitude has stuck around somehow.

Anon thinks the internet is ten years old, and has therefore only been ruined rather recently.

Please be one of those people that washes their hands instead of this functioning as some broad, sweeping excuse because “it’s already everywhere.” I don’t know how else fecal matter would be expected to travel to a stove dial.

This. This was the moment that I found out that the eldest of gen Alpha, the babies after the babies who can only be so young as to be entirely theoretical like they were when we collectively decided on the name, are thirteen now.

It is santa. You think my own parents would just lie to me for over 30 years!? To hand the credit to someone imaginary? Doesn’t make a shred of sense.

11yr old me would have disagreed

the plant was death because he put it in a closet because he bought in a woman and she could think he was gay so he hid it 👍

Well, what if she mistakenly saw him as a dependable person who could provide care for the most basic of life forms?