Just a guy, bout to get my PhD in experimental particle physics. I like hockey, basketball, DND, science, and audio equipment.

Go Nuggets! Go Avs!

Until current site stability, federation sync issues, and front-page spam in kbin are resolved, I have migrated to fedia.io:
fedia.io Account Page

  • 3 Posts
  • 10 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 16th, 2023

help-circle






  • Sometimes, mainly when it is stuff that isn’t rooted in true or false. If I am factually wrong, it isn’t usually concious and I tend realize my mistake after the fact. If I am in the wrong in an emotional/moral way, I tend to realize my mistake while I am still emotionally charged, so I am not always ready to acknowledge it or effectively communicate my apology, though I still try to either admit fault or tell the other person I’d like to discuss it after I have calmed down.

    Either way, I usually allow some amount of time for self reflection, which I think is better for me. It allows me to formulate my reasoning for apologizing/admitting my mistake, calm down, and let go of the ego. I have found that even if there is a long pause, the other person almost always will take the follow up discussion with kindness and respect, and appreciates the emotional/intellectual honesty and vulnerability. Nobody has ever rubbed it in my face. Which helps encourage the practice going forward.

    It also, in general, facilitates better real-time admission of incorrectness to practice in this way.


  • I have struggled against this for a long time. I tend to be a pretty prideful person and the urge to shift blame when I fuck up and deflect when faced with being wrong is something that has I have to actively work to correct. The difference for me came when I was younger in dealing with my parents: My dad was far from perfect and there were plenty of times he was in the wrong, but always made sure to sit down with me and apologize if he fucked up. My mom, for the most part, was better at avoiding being in the wrong in the first place, but when she was, I never once got her to apologize or admit her mistake. Of the two, I was hurt far more by the latter, and make it a point to be willing to admit my shortcomings.

    The most difficult part after I identified it as an issue is to not let my willingness to apologize/admit my mistake become a carte blanche for continuing the behavior. If I fuck up, apologizing only means something if I work on the mistake. If I am wrong about somethimg, I should learn about both the thing and where my misconceptions came from.

    For a lot of people, realizing it is an issue is difficult, because you first have to let go of the pride by acknowledging it. Shame isn’t a good motivator, as it makes most people double down on pride.



  • drailin@kbin.socialtoMemes@lemmy.mltough times
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    1 year ago

    I got my Crohn’s diagnosis about 3 years ago. While it has been worth it, the amount I have spent on medication, procedures, doctor’s visits, etc has kept my credit card near its limit for years and is a constant source of anxiety. This is with decent insurance. I have a job that is flexible with hours, but between flare ups and infusions, I have to miss work semifrequently and someone not in my position could be in a very tenuous state with their employer. Not to mention the stress of fighting the insurance for coverage of medications that are thousands of dollars per dose and dealing with systemic incompetence of the people involved in every stage of the process. They all fail (doctor’s office, infusion clinic, insurance, etc) to communicate in anything resembling a timely manner without my constant pestering and prodding. It is torturous, and only marginally better than the symptoms themself, and I understand exactly why people forego treatment if they have deal with any one of these issues individually, let alone with all of them. Just so BCBS/UHC/etc can turn a profit off our suffering.


  • The one hard drive that doesn’t work just sitting there is a true testamnet to my false hope. I swapped my psu a year ago and accidentally fried my 2tb hard drive. I got a new rig this summer and still transferred it over and plugged it in with the hope that it would resume life, only for it to be truly dead. It is still sitting in the new rig lol, couldn’t be bothered to remove it after testing.