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Conservative-dominated court restores books denounced by officials as ‘pornographic filth’ to school libraries
An appellate court has ruled that Texas cannot ban books from libraries simply because they mention “butt and fart” and other content which some state officials may dislike.
The fifth US circuit court of appeals issued its decision on Thursday in a 76-page majority opinion, which was written by Judge Jacques Wiener Jr and opened with a quote from American poet Walt Whitman: “The dirtiest book in all the world is the expurgated book.”
In its decision, the appellate court declared that “government actors may not remove books from a public library with the intent to deprive patrons of access to ideas with which they disagree”.
No, no, no! You got it all wrong. It’s the kiiiiiiiids.
Kids fucking live for fart and butt jokes. I’ve never seen a group of children giggle harder than when I watched a teacher read “I Need a New Butt.”
My older kids went through a phase where they were just randomly saying “butt” for like a year. By the end of it I couldn’t stand my own ass.
“Hey dad, dad, DAD!”
“What is it kiddo?”
“Butts! Ahahahahaha. Just picture it, crack down the middle, poopin’, just hanging out being a butt.”
When I realized I hadn’t heard the word “butt” for a few months, my sigh of relief could have changed the orbit of the planet.
Butt