I know, I know okay that there are many people in bad situations or going through acute events that are terrible, and people with physiological depression but for many other people this negative malaise is self-inflicted. So many people who could be happy are focusing on and amplifying all negative parts of life, doomscrolling online, and then not taking the initiative to socialize or do things that would make them happy. This is reinforced by a culture where it is in vogue to play up your misery, and it turns into a game of one upsmanship.
The average person reading this can actually be happy, have friends, and do things instead of wallowing in a mental cage. I’m begging and pleading with people to make an effort to break out of this.
I wouldn’t call trying to make plans with friends and meet new people then end up being ghosted or ditched as not taking initiative to socialize but alrighty. It’s exhausting, and for nothing to come out of it for months on end makes it seem pointless.
I think what the poster is trying to say is that for most people perspective is a choice and can be changed by making small adjustments to your life. You can also make huge adjustments but most people won’t tolerate changing too fast.
The idea is that instead of the road to your goal being difficult and full of deception, its maybe that the goal itself is unreasonable or incorrect.
There’s a lot of talk about how to achieve ones goals, whatever they are, but not much talk towards setting realistic goals for yourself and being realistic with what you expect to get out of achieving those goals.
Edit to add: more to your point about trying to make friends, its possible that its because the goal doesnt make sense. In my experience, adults dont have time to make friends just for the sake of friendship. It would be more realistic to set a goal of attending some sort of social event or sport consistently for a year where you would be around people enough to develop friendships without any risk.
Also I think these days people looking to meet strangers to make friends are almost indistinguishable from scammers and fraudsters at first, so that could be part of the issue with the relationships you’ve tried to pursue if that applies at all.
I know, I know okay that there are many people in bad situations or going through acute events that are terrible, and people with physiological depression but for many other people this negative malaise is self-inflicted. So many people who could be happy are focusing on and amplifying all negative parts of life, doomscrolling online, and then not taking the initiative to socialize or do things that would make them happy. This is reinforced by a culture where it is in vogue to play up your misery, and it turns into a game of one upsmanship.
The average person reading this can actually be happy, have friends, and do things instead of wallowing in a mental cage. I’m begging and pleading with people to make an effort to break out of this.
I wouldn’t call trying to make plans with friends and meet new people then end up being ghosted or ditched as not taking initiative to socialize but alrighty. It’s exhausting, and for nothing to come out of it for months on end makes it seem pointless.
I think what the poster is trying to say is that for most people perspective is a choice and can be changed by making small adjustments to your life. You can also make huge adjustments but most people won’t tolerate changing too fast.
The idea is that instead of the road to your goal being difficult and full of deception, its maybe that the goal itself is unreasonable or incorrect.
There’s a lot of talk about how to achieve ones goals, whatever they are, but not much talk towards setting realistic goals for yourself and being realistic with what you expect to get out of achieving those goals.
Edit to add: more to your point about trying to make friends, its possible that its because the goal doesnt make sense. In my experience, adults dont have time to make friends just for the sake of friendship. It would be more realistic to set a goal of attending some sort of social event or sport consistently for a year where you would be around people enough to develop friendships without any risk.
Also I think these days people looking to meet strangers to make friends are almost indistinguishable from scammers and fraudsters at first, so that could be part of the issue with the relationships you’ve tried to pursue if that applies at all.
If you are being ghosted for months, it is time for a new approach.
I’m not disagreeing but if it were as easy as that to be happy, then a lot more adults would be.
Sinking into an unhappy rut is easy. Being proactive takes effort.
Every time I see these “haha everything is miserable am I right?” kind of memes I reflexively feel a desire to push against it.