Women: asks you to critically investigate their body.
OP: chose to not to take the hint.
For anyone scrolling far enough to read this, all of the correct answers for this, follow the same formula. Statement about how you cannot tell leading into a compliment about their looks.
This can be reversed, complimenting they’re looks, and lead into that it is impossible to tell.
Unless she looks like the wicked witch of the west, like one girl I knew. She had surgery at some point, and I only knew her after that happened. I am not exaggerating with that reference.
Bluntly, I couldn’t have cared less. Things didn’t work out for completely unrelated reasons.
*their
Auto carrot strikes again
Laura Loomer: Can you guess?
Loomer: Jk all of them.
I wasn’t going to say anything. but you asked. yeah Jessica. it looks like you got dragged behind a 4 wheeler for a mile and the EMT’s shoved a fucking saddle horn into your skull to stop the bleeding.
(I have another response.)
Lean away, give her a long look, and gaze deep into her eyes. Tilt your head slightly to the side.“…. dad?”
In the stunned silence, because she never expected you to be right, tell her that you didn’t think you would see her again after she disappeared on her way to get cigarettes all those years ago.
And then put your hand on her thigh and say “I’ve missed you daddy” with wide eyes.
Gets ‘em every time.
“Did they do work on your face to make you less cute? Because I think they botched it.”
“It looks perfect! That’s why I thought you had work done!”
“You had a concerning mole removed from your thigh”
“Your boobs?”
“My boobs?!”
“Yeah, they look greeeeeeeat” *deliver as Tony the Tiger*That has to be what she was fishing for.
“Honestly? You look so naturally beautiful I couldn’t begin to guess. But if I had to, I’d say your most captivating thing about you is your eyes. Are they the real deal or someone fashion them from starlight?”
You should write for Hallmark movies.
idk i’m just going to pull the “dont know don’t care, card.” lol
I want to get whatever Jeff bezos had done so that my face looks like it’s going to explode when I talk
Tell her that her nose looks too perfect, problem solved
Exactly. They fumbled hard. “It has to be your ____, there’s no way it turned out that good naturally.”
My autistic ass would be like “Nope no clue sorry, whatever it was, they a good surgeon 👍”
ADHD here, after years of studying behavior from normies in order to emulate/mask, this is easily one of the best answers here.
Sometimes brutal honesty is the answer.
Neurotypical here - that’s the correct response.
ADHD here, it’s one of two. The other is to guess bottom surgery/sex reassignment to teach her what sort of prizes she can expect from playing stupid games. Yeah you’re burning that bridge, but that’s a bridge worth burning
I’m with you, I’d joke about circumcision (and maybe ran away 🥲)
Madlad
Unsure of neuro-typicalness, but I’d go with this one as well.
“They must have clipped off your wings, because you look like an angel.”
vomits
Since when was Anakin Skywalker on lemmy?
Did it hurt, when they clipped your wings and you took 1000d6 falling damage, m’lady?
“Or like some sort of succubus devil thing, I dunno.”
Horn removal and chopped off a spiky tail lol
“Speaking of which…did it hurt when you broke through the Earth’s crust while ascending from hell?”
“Do demon women like you float out from volcanoes, or do you claw your way through dirt to get here from hell?”
Hey, I’ll take any action I can get.
I was gonna finish with “…an ANGEL OF DEATH!!!” and start to air guitar. If she does the intro scream, she’s a keeper.
“Your nose is your cutest feature, that’s why I chose it” is the correct response
“Not like those ugly-ass ears. They really screwed those up, huh?”
Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is really fucked up.
(this one is so stupid and obviously inappropriate that I laugh each time I imagine someone saying it)
Imagine answering the plastic surgery question with “The left side? Did you get burnt badly or something? It looks kind of wonky.”
