Skunk
Skunks really are deceptively adorable. There’s a family of them that hang around the area between my home and the gas station I sometimes walk to at night, and I’ve caught them out there crossing the street and thought “Aww, how cu- ohfuuuuck walking back home, walking back home, runningbackhome”
I used to work with somebody who says she kept a de-glanded (not sure what the term is) skunk as a kid, and apparently they make good pets and allegedly have “fat ferret energy”. But apparently they still stink even without their gland.
Yes, they can’t spray you with the stink, but it’s still coming from them. I love skunks, their intelligence, their playfulness, their sociability, but nevertheless would not like to own one or ever come anything close to a wild one because I react strongly to smells.
Yes ?
You’re pretty, but stinky.
Thanks! We Skunks work hard to achieve this perfect balance.
Stelllllaaaaaaa
A blue ringed octopus - they’re a cute looking tiny octopus but quite capable of killing a human.
What’s worst is that after getting bitten by one you will be mentally alert but completely unable to do anything as you feel your body just stop doing things that keep you alive (like breathing)…
as you feel your body just stop doing things that keep you alive (like breathing)…
As I understand it (and to be fair, I’m no octopus scientist or human medical doctor) it’s pretty much just breathing that’s the issue. It doesn’t really directly cause any damage on its own (though the consequences of not breathing can and will of course cause quite a lot of damage in pretty short order)
The venom causes paralysis, basically by (someone correct me if I’m wrong) clogging up the receptors your body uses to send signals to your muscles. It will all get cleared up in about 24 hours or so though.
Problem is that you use some of those muscles to breathe. But if you make it to shore (you also need some of those muscles to swim) and if you get put on a ventilator right away (to do the breathing for you,) your prognosis is actually pretty good and there’s a nearly 100% survival rate (although that has to be two of the biggest “ifs” in all of medicine)
Another thing that comes to mind is your heart also uses muscles to do its thing, and I’m not totally clear on why that doesn’t seem to be a factor here, since paralyzing those muscles is basically just instant cardiac arrest. I did a bit of googling, but I’ll be honest I was in deep over my head in medical jargon and couldn’t make heads nor tails of it. I think my takeaway is that tetrodotoxincan affect the heart muscles, but I guess for whatever reason (dosage? Different kinds of muscles? The way your body processes the venom and moves it around your body? I really don’t know) it just kind of doesn’t, which I guess is lucky for us. I’m kind of hoping someone who speak doctor will maybe see this and give an ELI5 answer to that.
I suspect there’s probably a lot of minor consequences, like I bet your next trip to the bathroom once you recover in going to be some sort of event after your bowels stopped moving for 24 hours, but otherwise it seems like if you hang out on a ventilator for a day unable to move (which, to be fair, is probably one of the last ways I’d want to spend a day, but I guess it narrowly beats out a refrigerated cubby in the morgue) you’re pretty much in the clear to get on with your life.
An anaesthesist friend of mine once told me that there are two kinds of muscles - the ones you can actively control (such as muscles in arms and legs and also the muscles for breathing) and those you cannot, such as your heart and intestine-muscles (around the gut etc.). The latter has a different kind of receptors and isn’t affected by the stuff that they use in hospitals to put you down, but since the breathing is stopped, you’ll always be intubated.
I guess this poison is of the same kind but I don’t know the technicalities…
To explain it in simple terms, your heart doesn’t get its beating signal from the brain, the sinus node takes care of that and is located in the heart. What the brain (and other parts of your body) does is tell the heart to beat faster or slower when required. So the kind of paralysis caused by the octopus doesn’t affect your heart because it doesn’t need to use any external pathways to send the signal to the muscle to contract.
Bear. I wanna bear hug, but not really.
Here we go again… /s
I give you that, they look fluffy.
I came here to say this. If anyone’s interested, here’s unedited footage of a bear.
Most big cats are extremely cute and do silly kitty-like things.
Big cats can also be more-or-less tamed if they’re raised from a very, very young age by people. The issue, most of the time, is that big cats play just like house cats, and that kind of play can easily be fatal when the cat is the same size or larger than a human. House cats aren’t actually domesticated; they’re just tame, most of the time.
There are a number of IG accounts of wild cat rescues, or other big cats that live with humans, and they’re quite friendly because they were raised with and by people. But they’re still potentially deadly.
That is part of the reason why I’d get terrified - I have a scar on my leg from a house cat. (A friend of mine brought a kitty that he just adopted here, I was holding the kitty on my arms, Kika saw it as an invader and… well, she attacked the thing nearest to the invader that she could reach, i.e. my leg.) So when I see those big cats I can’t help but imagine a 30x larger house cat, with all the dangers that it entails. And the associated cuteness.
Otter. They’re a bunch of water gangster, they are fierce and they will bite. Even crocodiles and snake fear them when in group, human should leave them alone. Freaking cute creature though i just wanna pet one.
It helps that they smell godawful. They’re funny and cute and adorable but the whole otter smells like a butthole, which stops me from petting them. Barely.
Definitely polar bear. They look so cuddly but I would be terrified to even see one from afar.
You don’t see them. You are on the ice and so are they. They hunker down and purposefully cover their nose with their paw when you look in their direction. When you look away, they creep closer until your head starts to turn again. They don’t want you don’t see the little black spot getting closer and closer. If you are lucky and looking around while you are out on the ice, you will see a little black spot disappear. If you do. GET OUT NOW. If the spot was big enough to notice, the bear is probably close enough to charge. I hope your snow machines are close and ready to go.
That makes me want to pet it so much more.
Agreed. The death floof is one of the cutest things on the planet.
Especially when they have their baby with them and drink Coca-Cola Classic from a glass bottle.
hippopotamus
There are some very cute cobras.
WATCH A VIDEO OF SNAKES DRINKING WATER RIGHT THE FUCK NOW
Human babies
Human adults
I’d agree but adults are not always cute. They actually rarely are
The realest answer: baby bear. Because the mother is right around the corner.
Baby grizzly cub. Because if you can see the cub and not the mother…
Koala, cute as hell but those big pointy claws, no THANK you sir.
Plus bonus chlamydia!
Just use a condom, or get ready to take 100mg of doxycycline twice/day for 7 days 👌
And vomitting! And eating that vomit!
Honey Badger
Tiger
Platypus. So goofy looking on one hand. Poisonous spurs on the other.
Just touch the goofy looking hand then 🤷🏻♂️
Venomous, platypus produce venom.
Raccoon
