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“Recent hands-on experiments determined human feces cannot be made into frozen knives to dismember dogs” is the absolute most that a single sentence can be. The peak has been crested, literature can only stagnate from here.
This comes from a story Wade Davis told about an old Inuit hunter guy who killed a dog with a poop knife, skinned it, made a sled from its carcass and a harness from its hide and used another dog to ride into the sunset as a fuck you to his family who were trying to force him to retire.
The story has been thought to be bullshit by a lot of people. Wade Davis is a great writer though.
Wade got it from Peter Freuchen
Edit: Holy shit Wade Davis, from Wikipedia
In 1983, Davis first advanced his hypothesis that tetrodotoxin (TTX) poisoning could explain the existence of Haitian zombies.[10] This idea has been controversial and his 1985 follow-up book (The Serpent and the Rainbow) elaborating upon this claim has been criticized as containing scientific inaccuracies.[11] One is the suggestion Haitian witchdoctors can keep “zombies” in a state of pharmacologically induced trance for many years.[12] As part of his Haitian investigations, Davis commissioned the exhumation of a recently buried child.[13][14] (Dead human tissue is supposed to be a part of the “zombie powder” used by witchdoctors to produce zombies.) This has been criticized as a breach of ethics.[12][15]
Ya. When you’re reading psychedelic philosopher guys it’s best to keep in mind that they might be completely full of shit and total whack-jobs. Much like a good acid trip, believe half of what you hear and none of what you see.
Terrance McKenna is another one.
For sale, baby shoes, poop knives can’t dismember dogs.
*For sale: baby poop knives, can’t dismember dogs
*For sale: baby poop knives, can’t dismember dogs’ shoes.
What are you, a researcher, or a quitter?
OK, this is the take away. Never give up, never quit, don’t let your shit knife be dreams!
I remember the 2018 Society for American Archaeology conference, everyone saw this paper title in the schedule and tried to go to the talk. Probably the most asked question that weekend besides “time for a beer?” was “did you see the poop knife talk?”
Why is it always poop knives?
A semen sword would be too taxing?
Many hands make light work
ASK YOUR MAMA HOW LIGHT IT IS, FAT BOY! WOOOOO!
Band name. Called it!
Science!
Was this a common myth or something? There’s got to be a reason to test it
The paper’s introduction actually does explain it:
In his book, Shadows in the Sun, Davis (1998: 20) recounts what is now arguably one of the most popular ethnographic accounts of all time:
“There is a well known account of an old Inuit man who refused to move into a settlement. Over the objections of his family, he made plans to stay on the ice. To stop him, they took away all of his tools. So in the midst of a winter gale, he stepped out of their igloo, defecated, and honed the feces into a frozen blade, which he sharpened with a spray of saliva. With the knife he killed a dog. Using its rib cage as a sled and its hide to harness another dog, he disappeared into the darkness.”There’s also the story of Danish explorer Peter Freuchen, who claims to have used his own frozen shit to make a chisel to dig himself out of some ice. The paper takes the time to say that it is strictly about knives, though, not chisels
No way, explorers lying about their experiences? :O
The “well known account” part sort of makes it clear it didn’t happen to the explorer.
From the ancient origins link above:
While the author Wade Davis admits the story could be “apocryphal”, he cited the autobiography of Peter Freuchen who claimed to have shaped his own feces into a frozen chisel to make his escape.
So he claimed he did it himself as well as saying he knew how to do it because of the “well known account”. But also, anthropologists made shit up about the cultures they studied all the time, which is what I was actually referring to.
Did they experiment with composition of the poop? I expect it matters what you ate. I can see it not working if they were on a high fibre diet. They should try again after eating some sharp cheddar.
Sorry, I had to.
Looks at dog “now wear a shirt made from your buddy,and pull my sled made from your other buddy…” “We’re off!”
Does this mean it’s still possible that a poop machete or poop katana is viable?
At least for one swing I don’t see why not. I imagine your diet and coldness matters. Maybe more fiber makes it not be soo brittle?
I need to read this paper. Link?
This story was also told in a movie. I don’t remember which one.
Some dude at the bar would not shut up about it and the scientist is not one to let some motherfucker just stand around being wrong.
So this is from 2019 - hasn’t technology moved on ?
They invented metal knives at some point. I don’t even think walmart sells poop knives anymore.
It wasn’t able to create puncture wounds, only pooper cuts.
This is true. You must use a petrified coprolite.
I once bought a coprolite for my dad as a present. He studied it for a long time before asking what it was. That was fun.
Well there goes that movie idea tosses script
Whereas I have been waiting to see that title to a paper for decades.
It’s about fucking time.
Is this Lemmys version of the poop knife?
You heard it here first, folks: on Lemmy, poop knife
cuts youdoesn’t cut anything apparently.
The real question is do they work as dildos? Or is everything I believe about an Alaskan pipeline just a myth??
Something about being brave enough comes to mind
or just gross enough
I can’t stop laughing lmao
Were they solid loafs they made into knives or was it liquid?
Scientific progress in action.
