F-35 fighter jet. You try to resell that shit.
I’d go bankrupt 0.00001 seconds into the maintenance cycle
The ECU is unable to communicate with the rear RWR antenna, please contact your local Lockheed Martin dealership for service
I’m sure China would put in a bid for one, your life wouldn’t be worth living after though you would need serious plastic surgery a new identity and even if you moved to China I’m pretty sure you would have a accident eventually.
Plutonium.
They found me, I don’t know how but they found me
RUN FOR IT, MARTY!
Atomic Basketball Supermen don’t grow themselves, bub.
Atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood
somebody else’s kidney
Something valuable you say…hmmm, let me think about it for a sec
Don’t forget to rub it with lemons to make the invisible ink visible
Hold on a minute! I’m taking my minute back
As a normal person with no underground connections, maybe a significantly sized diamond? I don’t even know where to begin to be able to sell it. And any stolen large diamond will definitely raise alarms if I bring it anywhere legal to sell.
Find a shady diamond dealer in Morocco, that’s how my uncle managed it.
Or just any ol pawn shop on the bad side of town. Those guys never notify the police, even when they’re legally obligated to do so. Although, if you go to the wrong pawn shop and they know it’s stolen, they might just jack you themselves.
A famous work of art like the Mona Lisa, maybe? It would be super hard to steal and you might not be able to fence it because it’s too hot. Something like that would immediately go viral on the news and everyone on the planet would be looking out for it.
some people steal art just for the thrill and don’t even attempt to sell
Stolen AGAIN?! (The theft plays a part in the painting’s fame.)
I understand from some podcast that the Mona Lisa is famousbecause it was stolen. Before that it was just another painting.
My heart. 😍
You are worth it!
A gallon of printer ink
That’s not necessarily valuable, exactly. Yes, companies charge a lot for consumer ink jet printer ink, but prices go down dramatically when you’re talking about commercial printing. A two liter bottle of high-end dye sublimation ink runs about $200 (might be up since I last bought in 2021), and the dye sublimation ink for the HP printer I operate costs about $700/10L.
If your printer has replaceable print heads that aren’t part of the ink cartridge, and if you can retrofit a bulk ink system, then you quickly find out that ink is pretty inexpensive.
The Statue of Liberty
A balloon on free balloon day?
It’s not stealing if you give it back afterwards
A crude oil supertanker. It would probably break international law to sell it to anyone willing to buy it.
You’d be surprised at how many nations would be willing to break that international law for some cheap oil.
I feel like “getting away with it” has that covered, so it would be totally worth it.
I thought the stealing part you got away with but not the selling part
easy fix, don’t sell it. turn it into a cruise ship to launder all the oil money.
A tiger.
Mike will definitely knock you out.
Trix.
Silly rabbit, trix are for kids.
Nice try, thieves. I’m not giving you any ideas for things to steal. You should steal this idea instead.
But that’s not valuable. It’s free!
