• naught@sh.itjust.works
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      11 days ago

      I think it’s phrased like this because it’s less acceptable for men to express feelings like sadness or loneliness. men and boys who are lonely and alienated can more easily fall down the Andrew Tate/4Chan/Jordan Peterson/blackpill pipeline which yields violent extremist behavior. Obviously it’s not only men

      • mmddmm@lemm.ee
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        11 days ago

        Yes, it’s because despite the problem being the same for everybody, the “treatment” has to be very different. So it’s better if you break it down into two different epidemics.

        And one gets more attention because every single well known and applied procedure to fight the epidemics don’t work for them.

      • TheFudd@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        LMAO let’s not pretend like places such as /FemaleDatingStrategy don’t exist. Misogynists and misandrists are two sides of the same coin. If I have no problem saying that misogynists like Andrew Tate are shitheads, then you can admit that man-hating misandrists are also shitheads.

        And don’t you start telling me “Oh, but woman-hating misogynists are worse” because then the conversation turns in to the “Oppression Olympics” and all people do is focus on arguing about who has it worse instead of focusing on actually fixing anybody’s problems. Both misogynists and misandrists are bad, and both should be condemned.

        • nl4real@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          LMAO let’s not pretend like places such as /FemaleDatingStrategy don’t exist.

          FDS has nowhere near the same reach as Tate, or other manosphere influencers.

          And don’t you start telling me “Oh, but woman-hating misogynists are worse” because then the conversation turns in to the “Oppression Olympics” and all people do is focus on arguing about who has it worse instead of focusing on actually fixing anybody’s problems.

          Yes, they are both dicks. But one group has active control of the most powerful government on earth.

          • TheFudd@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            Yes, they are both dicks.

            Stop. Right there. That’s all you need to say.

            Cut off that other crap about men “running the most powerful government in the world”. I guarantee the average man does not “run the world”. I sure as hell don’t. Do you? No? Then stop.

            No more saying “My side has it worse, so your side doesn’t deserve to have your problems addressed”, neither gender should have their very real problems ignored.

            There are no winners in the “Oppression Olympics”, only losers. The first step towards not being a loser is to stop thinking like a loser.

          • TheFudd@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            So, no answer then?

            Oh, you got your answer. You just didn’t like the answer - Probably because the answer acknowledged that men’s problems actually exist in this regard, and you don’t like that either.

            You know what I didn’t like? My ex beating the shit out of me, and getting away with it every single time because just because she’s a woman.

    • Chloé 🥕@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11 days ago

      yes, the few hundred people on tumblr who hate all men are just as bad as the incel influencers making millions every year who have sympathizers in many governments

      fuck off

      • AnIndefiniteArticle@sh.itjust.works
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        11 days ago

        tumblr? Seems like a cool place to me.

        I’m talking about people with these beliefs in positions of power and influence abusing that power and ruining people’s lives.

        Just like OP.

        • Chloé 🥕@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          11 days ago

          edit: I was being an ass. ill shut up now

          in positions of power

          WHERE??? incels are running the US government, what power do your man-haters even have???

          • AnIndefiniteArticle@sh.itjust.works
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            11 days ago

            The power to ostracize and bully me out of a job for daring to get sexually assaulted by my female boss while being intersex-presenting-male, then continue to bully and ostracize me for the following seven years, fully destroying my life.

            • TheFudd@lemmy.world
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              11 days ago

              Not-so-fun fact: If you call the domestic abuse hotline as a male who’s experiencing violence at the hands of a woman, they will just hang up on you.

              Source: I was in a physically abusive relationship and tried to call the domestic abuse hotline for advice, and they hung up on me.

              • CalipherJones@lemmy.world
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                11 days ago

                As someone who saw the cops go over to the neighbor’s house about 15 times… They don’t care about any kind of domestic violence 😊

                • TheFudd@lemmy.world
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                  11 days ago

                  I refuse to belittle or diminish anyone’s suffering who’s been through domestic violence. Doesn’t matter if they are a man or a woman, I hope that your neighbor finds away to get out of their abusive situation.

        • Sonor@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          If we upvote one, we should upvote the other. It should go both ways, or none at all

    • nl4real@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      GamerGate-tier slop. “tumblristas” or whatever have nowhere near the level of influence, power or damage to society as the manosphere. When was the last time you read about one shooting up a school?

      • TheFudd@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        GamerGate-tier slop. “tumblristas” or whatever have nowhere near the level of influence, power or damage to society as the manosphere.

        By that logic, if someone punches you with brass knuckles then you have no right to complain because brass knuckles have nowhere near the level of power or damage-dealing ability to a person as a gun does.

        • nl4real@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          What? Saying one thing is on a different level is not the same as saying the other doesn’t exist.

          • TheFudd@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            What? Saying one thing is on a different level is not the same as saying the other doesn’t exist.

            Well, a big part of men’s problem here is plenty of people do say that in one way or another - That men’s problems in this regard “don’t exist”.

            I’ve experienced domestic violence before. She preferred to knock the shit out of me when I was sleeping. I don’t care how strong you think you are, you aren’t able to protect yourself when you are asleep.

            I have flat-out had people tell me that “men cannot be abused by women, just like how a woman can’t r-pe a man” when I’ve told people about the situation.

            How else am I to interpret that, other than “your problems don’t exist”?

  • XM34@feddit.org
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    11 days ago

    Oh wow, another meme completely disregarding a problem many are struggeling with. But don’t worry guys and gals, it’s okay because it’s making fun of mens’ suffering. And men can’t be discriminated against.

    On another note, has anyone figured out yet, why men are never emotionally available? It truly is a mystery 🤔

    /s in case you can’t tell.

    • Slowter1134@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Silly men just need to understand that saying “I’m lonely” and “women belong in the kitchen” are equivalent. So don’t you dare ever talk or reach out if you’re lonely.

      It’s a real shame that male loneliness is so quickly dismissed because it would be a great starting point to begin talking about how traditional male friendships tend to keep each other at a distance, and maybe come up with ways to bridge the gap so existing friendships can become deeper.

      Instead it feels like the conversation just gets to this point where we all collectively shrug and say, “shame” and never really talk about it more than this.

        • RedPostItNote@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          There is a difference between thinking someone deserves it and them probably needing to do some introspection.

          • vegantomato@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            Making the blanket statement that anyone who believes male loneliness is an issue that in parts is outside of their control, is a clown, has nothing to do with introspection. It’s a rude, unemphatic, misandric statement that has no constructive properties.

            • RedPostItNote@lemmy.world
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              11 days ago

              Unemphatic? Grown men seem to need more coddling than I got as a little girl. Do you guys know why women are so supportive of each other? They have to be to survive.

              Sorry that evolution is hurting your brains right now

    • snooggums@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      There are multiple ways to get to the loneliness stage. The meme identifies one way that is self inflicted which starts with misogyny and spirals from there.

    • i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11 days ago

      Very true. But when it comes to loneliness, I’ve heard far more about “the male loneliness epidemic.”

      The male loneliness epidemic is often cited to me and used to silence women/NB folks when we try to discuss our safety and support groups. It is supposedly women’s (and other not-men’s fault) that men are lonely.

      I just searched it up and apparently NPR has something about it now. https://www.npr.org/2025/02/17/1263527043/its-been-a-minute-male-loneliness-epidemic-real

      • peaches@lemm.ee
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        11 days ago

        Thanks for the link, interesting read( I read the transcript). A section here:

        VOLPE: Yeah. Yeah. Like Harris said, it’s an easy solution. And you know, speaking of, like, some of these people, like Andrew Tate, like, their messages of, like, you know, you need to have women around you only to dominate them. And, like, those sort of messages, I think, are very appealing for men who feel like their place in the world is being threatened. And so it’s very easy to say, like, oh, yeah, like, maybe they just need a girlfriend or a friend and, like, they’ll be better.

        And I think that maps neatly onto the way that we socialize boys and men, too, to sort of value that one romantic relationship, and, like, that is the thing…

        This might be one of the reasons. But it is interesting that the survey says it is only 1% less of women than men feeling lonely. Would be interesting to know the country too. Not all societies are the same, and in some friendships between men are similar in connection like between 2 women.

  • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Yeah, that’s not at all what the male loneliness thing is about at all. Was the point of your meme to make fun of how ignorant people are about this particular issue for men or were you trying to suggest the issue is invalid and the result of misogynistic assholes? Because if it’s the latter I think you just demonstrated your own ignorance and should probably spend some time trying to empathize more with men and educate yourself.

    • AlDente@sh.itjust.works
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      11 days ago

      Par for the course for cm0002 to drop a devisive clickbait “meme” for engagement and disappear. I understand we want Lemmy to grow, but is this actually the kind of content we want churned out?

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      A second person I can ask. What’s the epidemic then? If it’s not men failing to meet some pretty basic standards for empathy and kindness, what is it?

      • SnortsGarlicPowder@lemmy.zip
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        11 days ago

        Not the person you replied to.

        That’s easy it’s not not wanting to come off as a creep. Where do you meet them? I have been told you cannot approach women in the bar, work, gym, through hobbies etc. Only place that is okay is dating apps and they are awful for so many reasons for everyone involved.

        You don’t want to be creepy so you don’t approach people. Then you get people calling you creepy for being lonley.

        • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          Ahhh, yes. Intentionally being on “the hunt”. It’s a shitty model, it rarely works, and I don’t understand why it persists.

          This is part of the fallacy that men are fed.

          I should probably make a video on the subject, but I doubt people would listen. But the way to meet women is the same way you meet new male friends. How do you do that?

        • sykaster@feddit.nl
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          11 days ago

          I don’t think the main message is not approaching women anywhere. I think the main message is actually making friends before making a move. Not just asking someone out.

          I’ve had 2 relationships and am in a happt marriage going on 10 years, and each one started by being friendly and sharing interests, because then it’s natural to go do something together sometime.

          Don’t overcomplicate it, just be friendly and make it natural to spend time together.

      • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        It’s complicated because there are a variety of contributing factors and it’s not the same for every lonely man. There are some societal mores in certain demographics (e.g. urban Black men, traditional Hispanic men, traditional Southern White men) where men are expected to not talk about emotional pain or express it only in anger. They’re expected to solve all of their own problems and even complaining about a problem you’re struggling to solve makes you look weak to your peers. These kinds of societal forces cut men off from emotional support even when they have friends and makes them feel alone and abandoned even though they have people in their lives.

        Then there’s stuff like boys/men getting addicted to video games and not socializing enough in person with people to create friendships groups outside of discord, that kind of thing. Like I said, it’s multifaceted. But it’s no joke and it’s not about misogyny.

        • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          Being taught to hide your emotions is part of my point. It stunts emotional growth and then they struggle to communicate or understand feelings. Which I believe leads to treating other people like objects.

          • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            I’m sorry, but that’s just not true. Being taught to hide your feelings doesn’t necessarily stunt emotional growth, and even if emotional growth is stunted, that doesn’t necessarily lead to treating other people like objects. You’re making a lot of assumptions about how people mature under these conditions. Do you have any professional sources to back this up or is it just your personal view of the topic?

  • PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de
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    11 days ago

    The people speaking about male loneliness epidemics aren’t the incels right? I think trying to understand the problems related to masculinity in society is exactly the opposite, trying to combat incels and the like. It has nothing to do with blaming women (at least in my experience)

  • hmonkey@lemy.lol
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    11 days ago

    I doubt the first 3 statements are the same person as the fourth in most cases

      • hmonkey@lemy.lol
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        11 days ago

        I just figure if you called women dishwashers you wouldn’t know big words like epidemic. That and it’s possible to be lonely without being sexist.

        Also, I hear the 4th way more often than the other 3

        • nl4real@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          That and it’s possible to be lonely without being sexist

          Sure, but people often misdirect their anger at the wrong things.

          • yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de
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            11 days ago

            You are right. And snowing similarly implies that it’s cold outside. But you cannot reliably conclude whether it is snowing if you only know it is cold.

  • CalipherJones@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Death of third places and the tech takeover of social interaction is why men and women seem to hate each other now. We don’t have much opportunity to meet romantically in person and the online space pits extremists against each other until all the regular people believe that’s just the way it is in real life too.

    Can’t overlook that women being, for the most part, economically equal for the first time ever gives them more opportunity to choose as well.

    • oatscoop@midwest.social
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      11 days ago

      There is a male loneliness problem. The meme is making fun of the toxic dickheads that are part of the problem and lack the self awareness to realize it.

      “Why don’t the people I treat like shit like me?!”